I have had a hard day today and I am going to be very open and honest to all of you and ask that you please pray for us. I
realized somewhere between last night and this morning that Mike and I have reached a new status in our lives. That status is being a parent of a child with cancer. We did not ask to be put in this
status, it didn't give us a choice, it didn't ask permission, we didn't get an invite, it just happened. I'm not
ok with this and I am mad. I don't want to deal with this and I don't want Carter to have to deal with this. This is harder than anything I could have ever imagined. I know Carter is going to be fine, and I don't even think he will need chemo, but he still has/had cancer. He has been through so many tests and I hate to put him through anymore. He has been poked, starved, sedated and through many machines. I'm sorry for complaining but I just wanted all of you to know how we feel and what we are going through.
Carter got his chest tube out finally!! He will get an x-ray at 7 p.m. and if
everything looks good we will get to leave.
This journey is not almost over, its just beginning. PLEASE continue to pray for us. This will continue to be a long journey, and we cannot do this without your prayers and support.
5 comments:
Gina,
I do not know how you feel in the perspective of a boy with cancer but can relate to being upset over life's unplanned situation. I prayed forever to find the man God wanted me to marry and finally in my 30's he arrived. After marrying him, we planned to start our family. Everything looked great. Finally, life was going according to plan. Then, my baby was having troubles in the womb and we had to go to specialist to see if he was going to be okay. There........back on my plan. One month before this very special child was to be born, my husband's only brother was killed in a car accident. I could not even be there for my husband at the funeral. I just felt helpless. We were all looking for this new addition to our family to mend our broken hearts. We go to the hospital for the delivery and a couple of hours after his birth, they had to call the special ambulance called the "Baby Buggy" to take him away to be placed in NICU. This was not in my plan. The shear devistation of leaving the hospital without a baby was horrible. We went to the Ronald McDonald house to stay while he was in the hospital and I could not stay there. I could not deal with people when my baby was sick in the hospital. I was absolutely broken. My son just turned 7 and even writing this to you, my eyes are tearing and my heart is aching! I feel those feelings as if I were living them today! A mama has a heart that is unmeasurable! I believe that Carter will be fine but you will always have a patch over your heart related to this period in your life. Thank you for being honest because my heart breaks for you! Gina, I am praying for you and your son.
Hi Gina, My two youngest girls are going through an "angry" time also. Not understanding why their nephew has to be suffering and asking me why God would allow any baby to suffer. I can go through the biblical history of how man chose to sin and when sin entered the world so did suffering but that doesn't comfort them as I'm sure it doesn't comfort you.
I do tell them that "I don't have an answer for you, but because you have a personal relationship with God, tell him you're angry and you don't understand. Let it all out before Him.Cling to Him and let him no exactly how you feel and than trust Him in faith." I know that my peace comes from Him with the help of all the prayers our good friends have been saying on our behalf and even though I may not get an answer to why a baby may suffer here on earth I find peace knowing that God knows and at times His Wisdom is beyond my understanding but he does all things for us out of love and with a purpose. Hang in there. Saying many prayers for you. Sandy Schrader
Hang in there, Gina! My heart is breaking for you. Know if you need to go somewhere and just scream it's ok. I will even come and let you sit in my car and scream. Sometimes it even feels better. (for a while anyway)
May you find peace in knowing that this world is not our home. It'll all be good one day in Glory! Praise God for the valleys in life. It makes the mountain tops so much more lovely.
I love you so much
Terri
It's ok to be angry. God knows your heart (without your permission). He loves Carter and your family. What would people do without God to see them through the rough times? I know you believe in miracles and I believe he's showing you one at every turn. We love you and are praying for you. Joy
Dear precious Family,
We hear your grief and understand the anger. Our Heavenly Father says, "I know my child, you're not walking this road alone. It's ok to cry and scream, I understand, I was there before you." Our hearts ache for you, and we continue to pray and look frequently to your blog. Please know as you look back from where you came you may only see one set of footprints; they are your hearvenly Father's. He loves you so much and filters each day through His loving hands. We love you too. The Urichs'Jeremiah 29:11
Post a Comment