Tuesday, April 14, 2009

God is good!!

What an unbelievable testimony Carter will have some day. The Lord God Almighty has done mighty things in Carter's life and I will forever praise His name.
Carter's appointment went fairly well but the results were wonderful. NO CANCER!!! The scan was clear.
Sometimes I feel like I am in a dream going to doctors appointments getting scans to see if his tumor has returned, I wish all kids could have this happy of a story. The battle with cancer can be so horrible but for Carter it has been everything but that, I am so amazed at what the Lord has done in our lives. I was told again yesterday that most kids with neuroblastoma don't have this happy of a story. This type of cancer is rarely found early and rarely diagnosed without having to go through chemo. Rejoice, again I say Rejoice! Thank you Jesus.
Carter had a crazy reaction to the sleepy medicine they gave him. They give him enough medicine to calm him and make him lay still but not to fall asleep. The scan went fine and he did great but as soon as he started to come out of his daze he was a wild man. It was the most absolutely horrible experience in my life. To say he threw a temper tantrum would be an understatement. Carter threw the BIGGEST fit for 25 minutes and nothing we did would calm him. He would scream for a cracker and then throw the cracker on the floor, he was throwing everything, thrashing, crying, kicking...horrible. Then as quick as he started he was done and playing and back to cute Carter. Mike doesn't usually go to the appointments with me because he usually has to stay home so I think Carter was just making sure his daddy had a great time...HA!
Oh, the best part, we don't have to go back for 6 months!!! After that fit I was very grateful to hear that, I don't want to experience that again anytime soon.

Thank you for all of your prayers and support during the last 11 1/2 months. (Can you believe this journey has been going on for almost a year?)

Sunday, April 12, 2009


I can't believe Evan is 5 years old today! Where have the last 5 years gone? We had a wonderful day celebrating Easter, Jesus is risen!! and Evan's birthday with my family. I can't believe how fast kids grow up Carter will be 2 before we know it.

Your mom and dad love you so much and praise Jesus for you everyday. You are such a gift. While we don't want you to grow up we can't wait to see the life God has planned for you. We love when you tell us stories about Jesus, watch you play soccer and love on your little brother. You are such a good friend to your friends at pre-school and day care. You are tender hearted and wild spirited. We love you and hope you had a great 5th birthday!

Yes I am aware that it has been 3 months since I have updated, just not sure what to write lately. I guess I had writers block...HA! I can't believe people are still reading this.

My last post was from Carter's last check up and it is already time for another one. I have done much better not worrying about this check up as much but to say not at all would be a lie. I have decided that God will take care of us no matter what and I just need to give it to Him and trust Him. This has left me in a much better mood than constant fear.

We could still use your prayers for peace and that everything will go smoothly. I am praying that they won't have to sedate him for the Cat-scan and that we won't have to have another appointment for 6 months.

Carter is getting to be such a big boy and a little stinker. He is so much fun. He is as graceful as his mother and if you know me then you know that's not a good thing! In February he bit all the way through his lip and took his first trip to the ER, pretty scary for mom but not for him. They glue the outside of his lip and he was as good as new. He tries to do everything Evan does and isn't afraid of anything. It is so fun to watch his personality develop, he is such a joy!

Hoping you all had a wonderful Easter and looking forward to sharing good news with you tomorrow.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Good news!!

As the title says we got good news at Carter's appointment yesterday, however we need your prayers. His scan was clear for any signs of a tumor. YEAH!!!! Praise the Lord. I debated on posting the next part or not but I feel we really need every ones prayers. When the doctor came into to tell us the results of the scan she also did an exam on Carter, just normal stuff. He was sitting on my lap and when she got to the lymph nodes under his left arm she asked me to lay him on the exam table. Then she kept feeling around under that arm, after what felt like an eternity I told her she was scaring me and asked what she was doing. She explained that she felt a bump, but it wasn't what a normal swollen lymph node or tumor would feel like and she thought it was just his muscle but she wanted to make sure, that's why she kept pressing around on it. Then she said we could do an ultrasound to make sure it was nothing. At that point I just wanted to fall down on the floor and start screaming. I just kept thinking "I knew it, I just knew it was going to come back." (I know, I know, I am such an optimistic positive person, ha ha NOT) Then she said "Oh wait, I know the CT scan when up to his neck so I will just go back and look at the scan and talk to the radiologist." So after a few minutes she comes back to tell us it was nothing, there was nothing on the scan and the radiologist didn't see anything abnormal either. I did feel a little relieved, but still very scared. In the back of my mind I keep thinking it is nothing now, but it might be next time. So, that's why I posted that part so all of you can pray. Please pray for my peace of mind, I just do not feel as relieved as I normally do after these appointments. Also pray for Carter that it really is nothing and we don't find something at his next appointment. He will go back in 3 months, so April and we will do another scan. I really hope I am not a basket case for the next 3 months.
This appointment was thus far the hardest one for me mentally, I'm not sure why but I have just been a mess and maybe that's why I'm having a hard time bouncing back from it.
I did want to let every one know that the test itself went REALLY smooth yesterday. Carter barely cried when they did the IV, it only took one try, he went to the bathroom fairly quickly for the urine test, we didn't have to wait for a long time like usual, and he only whimpered a second during the scan because it startled him when the table started moving :) That in itself is a huge praise. It was by far our best appointment up until the doctor came in.
Thank you all for your prayers.

The following is a song that has become our theme song. The words really speak to me and just remind me that everything we have gone through is going to be OK no matter how it turns out because we have hope and faith in Jesus.

Hope Now by Addison Road

If everything comes down to love
Then just what am I afraid of
When I call out Your name
Something inside awakes in my soul
How quickly I forget I'm Yours

I'm not my own
I've been carried by You
All my life

Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
This love sets me free

When my life is like a storm
Rising waters all I want is the shore
You say I'll be ok and
Make it through the rain
You are my shelter from the storm

And everything rides on hope now
And everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
This love sets me free

You've become my hearts desire
I will sing Your praises higher
Cause Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free

I'm not my own
I've been carried by You
All my life

Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
This love sets me free

This love sets me free
Your love sets me free
This love sets me free
Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Big Event!!

Sorry it has been so long since I have updated. I planned on writing a post before Christmas, and well that didn't happen. Then I was going to write on New Years day about how I hope 2009 is a much better year for the Ryan family and well, that didn't happen either. Then I was going to post some prayer requests for Carter's appointment tomorrow and figured I better do that now since it is almost to late!
New Years was a great reflecting time for me. I was very emotional thinking back on the past year of all we went through and how gracious God was. I never underestimate the miracle that Carter is and what a blessing it was to find his cancer before it was to late. Those two weeks in May went by so fast however it was truly a living nightmare. It was something we never expected and wish no one ever has to go through. However, I am so grateful how quickly everything happened and how fast Carter was NED (no evidence of disease).
The past few weeks have been really hard on me. Carter's appointment in tomorrow, Jan. 19 and I can't even begin to explain how I have felt. I can't wait for it to be over with. I am so nervous and fearful. I just can't bear to think of the what ifs. Even when I think I am doing OK in trusting God and not worrying something so small will sneak in and away my mind goes.
I pray that as time passes these appointments get easier and not harder. I do worry a little about Carter getting an IV and the sedation but that doesn't bother me near as much as the results of the tests. So please pray for us tonight and tomorrow. I will let you know ASAP.
Now as the title suggests I have news of a big event!! Are you ready to know what it is?

Get your running/walking shoes on and start training for:

1st Annual Carter Ryan Run For Life
May 2, 2009

That's right folks, in the big metropolis of Bolivar we are hosting a run/walk benefiting Relay for Life of Polk County in honor of Carter. May 2, happens to be the one year anniversary of finding out Carter had a tumor. This will be a 5k run/walk, half-marathon and marathon.
When I ran my first race in December, I thought it would be so much better to do a race for a cause and not just for "fun" because seriously, its not all that fun. I began thinking of several groups I would like to run for but set my mind on American Cancer Society. I really hope this will be a big event and if you are anywhere close to Bolivar you should try to come. If you are interested let me know by commenting and I will get the info to you. To make it even more exciting, I will be running the half-marathon. Oh I can't believe I just wrote that, that means I have to now that I made the announcement.

I look forward to sharing how the progress in planning this event and my training goes.
Sometimes I have a hard time writing on here because I often wonder if anyone still reads this blog. If you are reading this, then please comment and let me know. You can be anonymous, I'm just curious.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Not Me Monday!

Traci, This is for you!

I haven't posted in a long time and I will catch everyone up to date in a different post but for now its time for not me! Monday. I am a mom, as you already know, and while I like to think I do everything just right, we all mess up from time to time and do things that we would like to deny. Not me! Monday is a place I can share the things that a perfect mom would certainly NOT do and then post them on our blog because NOT admitting to these things is just so freeing and not to mention funny. So feel free to write about the things you didn't do on your blog or tell me about them in the comments. I promise you will feel better when your done.

I did not let Carter play with 2 tooth brushes and running water while sitting on the bathroom sink when I took a shower yesterday. That would not be safe and I would never do anything to put my children in harms way.

I did not cry until I couldn't breath last week more than once because I am worried about Carter's upcoming check-up. I have faith that he will be just fine, so I would not do that, in fact I'm not worried at all! Nope not me, I'm cool as a cucumber.

I did not take a nap at 6:30 p.m. while Mike took the children to church by himself. I would never do that and why would anyone take a nap that late at night?

I did not plan a big event and have still not told all of you about it. I am so excited about this and I would never keep my blog readers in the dark about something this way cool. (I promise more on this event that I am not planning will be coming soon)

I did not run 3.8 miles yesterday because I am lazy and so not a runner. I also did not sign-up for my second race this week and do not have plans already for a 3rd and 4th race!

After I did not run the above mentioned 3.8 miles I did not come home and decide a perfect post run snack would be ice cream. They would be so stupid and defeat the whole purpose for running. I am so glad I didn't do that.

Mike bought me a cookie cake for my birthday and I did not eat half of it in one day. That would be so gross and make me feel sick for the whole next day. (Oh, maybe that's why I didn't go to church last night)

Speaking of birthday, I did not and I never do act like the world should stop on my birthday. That would be selfish and I never do anything selfish.

I did not do this post just for my friend Traci, so she would quit bugging me about it.

Oh wow, well I think that is enough things I did not do and hopefully I will try and post again next week. I do plan on doing a different post soon since I missed Christmas, New Year, have some prayer requests, and possibly something really exciting!!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Mommy and Daddy's first race!!

Seriously people, my mom and dad are crazy! My mommy has been running in the cold for weeks now only to get up and run outside on a cold day! I can't believe my daddy did it too, he is really crazy! I need to take a nap so I will let my mommy tell you all about it. ~Carter

Mike and I ran in our first race ever this morning! I still can't believe we really did it. Back in September my friend Katie and I joked about participating in the YMCA Holiday Run, and today we really did it. Katie and I tied running 3.1 miles in 32:18. I'm not going to the Olympics or anything but I think that's a pretty good time for our first race. And considering we never ran more than 2.5 miles before today! I was pretty sure after 15 minutes I was going to die, but Katie kept telling me I was fine and sure enough I am. I already want to sign up for another one. I want to do a race that benefits kids with cancer, so if anyone knows of one in Missouri let me know. I had my friend Rachel take pictures for me today, they are not great but it is proof. Have a great weekend.

Katie and Me before the race, I was really excited for some stupid reason.

The start

Katie and Me finishing strong!

I almost forgot to tell you all what a great wife I am! Mike was pretty far behind us and when I could see him coming I went and met him and ran with him to the finish line.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

So Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

I have so much to be thankful for this year it makes me emotional. I will never be thankful that Carter got cancer, but I will always be thankful for God's grace and all the ways He provided during that rough time. We are so thankful for all of the wonderful doctors that Carter has/had, the way everything was over so quickly, and the many family members and friends that walked with us loving, encouraging, and praying for us. How wonderful that our little boy is with us and didn't have to have chemo and will be able to celebrate many many more Thanksgivings with us. When we look back at the day we were told Carter had a tumor and the days following, we are so amazed at the way God held us in His hands and took care of us. Yes we were emotional, and yes it was hard, but with God we made it and are now stronger because of it.
I am so thankful to all of you who prayed for Carter and us and who helped us through the nightmare. Thank you!
Hope you have a great day full of thanks!