God is good!!

What an unbelievable testimony Carter will have some day. The Lord God Almighty has done mighty things in Carter's life and I will forever praise His name.
Carter's appointment went fairly well but the results were wonderful. NO CANCER!!! The scan was clear.
Sometimes I feel like I am in a dream going to doctors appointments getting scans to see if his tumor has returned, I wish all kids could have this happy of a story. The battle with cancer can be so horrible but for Carter it has been everything but that, I am so amazed at what the Lord has done in our lives. I was told again yesterday that most kids with neuroblastoma don't have this happy of a story. This type of cancer is rarely found early and rarely diagnosed without having to go through chemo. Rejoice, again I say Rejoice! Thank you Jesus.
Carter had a crazy reaction to the sleepy medicine they gave him. They give him enough medicine to calm him and make him lay still but not to fall asleep. The scan went fine and he did great but as soon as he started to come out of his daze he was a wild man. It was the most absolutely horrible experience in my life. To say he threw a temper tantrum would be an understatement. Carter threw the BIGGEST fit for 25 minutes and nothing we did would calm him. He would scream for a cracker and then throw the cracker on the floor, he was throwing everything, thrashing, crying, kicking...horrible. Then as quick as he started he was done and playing and back to cute Carter. Mike doesn't usually go to the appointments with me because he usually has to stay home so I think Carter was just making sure his daddy had a great time...HA!
Oh, the best part, we don't have to go back for 6 months!!! After that fit I was very grateful to hear that, I don't want to experience that again anytime soon.

Thank you for all of your prayers and support during the last 11 1/2 months. (Can you believe this journey has been going on for almost a year?)

FIVE!

I can't believe Evan is 5 years old today! Where have the last 5 years gone? We had a wonderful day celebrating Easter, Jesus is risen!! and Evan's birthday with my family. I can't believe how fast kids grow up Carter will be 2 before we know it.

Evan,
Your mom and dad love you so much and praise Jesus for you everyday. You are such a gift. While we don't want you to grow up we can't wait to see the life God has planned for you. We love when you tell us stories about Jesus, watch you play soccer and love on your little brother. You are such a good friend to your friends at pre-school and day care. You are tender hearted and wild spirited. We love you and hope you had a great 5th birthday!




Yes I am aware that it has been 3 months since I have updated, just not sure what to write lately. I guess I had writers block...HA! I can't believe people are still reading this.

My last post was from Carter's last check up and it is already time for another one. I have done much better not worrying about this check up as much but to say not at all would be a lie. I have decided that God will take care of us no matter what and I just need to give it to Him and trust Him. This has left me in a much better mood than constant fear.

We could still use your prayers for peace and that everything will go smoothly. I am praying that they won't have to sedate him for the Cat-scan and that we won't have to have another appointment for 6 months.

Carter is getting to be such a big boy and a little stinker. He is so much fun. He is as graceful as his mother and if you know me then you know that's not a good thing! In February he bit all the way through his lip and took his first trip to the ER, pretty scary for mom but not for him. They glue the outside of his lip and he was as good as new. He tries to do everything Evan does and isn't afraid of anything. It is so fun to watch his personality develop, he is such a joy!

Hoping you all had a wonderful Easter and looking forward to sharing good news with you tomorrow.

Good news!!

As the title says we got good news at Carter's appointment yesterday, however we need your prayers. His scan was clear for any signs of a tumor. YEAH!!!! Praise the Lord. I debated on posting the next part or not but I feel we really need every ones prayers. When the doctor came into to tell us the results of the scan she also did an exam on Carter, just normal stuff. He was sitting on my lap and when she got to the lymph nodes under his left arm she asked me to lay him on the exam table. Then she kept feeling around under that arm, after what felt like an eternity I told her she was scaring me and asked what she was doing. She explained that she felt a bump, but it wasn't what a normal swollen lymph node or tumor would feel like and she thought it was just his muscle but she wanted to make sure, that's why she kept pressing around on it. Then she said we could do an ultrasound to make sure it was nothing. At that point I just wanted to fall down on the floor and start screaming. I just kept thinking "I knew it, I just knew it was going to come back." (I know, I know, I am such an optimistic positive person, ha ha NOT) Then she said "Oh wait, I know the CT scan when up to his neck so I will just go back and look at the scan and talk to the radiologist." So after a few minutes she comes back to tell us it was nothing, there was nothing on the scan and the radiologist didn't see anything abnormal either. I did feel a little relieved, but still very scared. In the back of my mind I keep thinking it is nothing now, but it might be next time. So, that's why I posted that part so all of you can pray. Please pray for my peace of mind, I just do not feel as relieved as I normally do after these appointments. Also pray for Carter that it really is nothing and we don't find something at his next appointment. He will go back in 3 months, so April and we will do another scan. I really hope I am not a basket case for the next 3 months.
This appointment was thus far the hardest one for me mentally, I'm not sure why but I have just been a mess and maybe that's why I'm having a hard time bouncing back from it.
I did want to let every one know that the test itself went REALLY smooth yesterday. Carter barely cried when they did the IV, it only took one try, he went to the bathroom fairly quickly for the urine test, we didn't have to wait for a long time like usual, and he only whimpered a second during the scan because it startled him when the table started moving :) That in itself is a huge praise. It was by far our best appointment up until the doctor came in.
Thank you all for your prayers.

The following is a song that has become our theme song. The words really speak to me and just remind me that everything we have gone through is going to be OK no matter how it turns out because we have hope and faith in Jesus.

Hope Now by Addison Road

If everything comes down to love
Then just what am I afraid of
When I call out Your name
Something inside awakes in my soul
How quickly I forget I'm Yours

I'm not my own
I've been carried by You
All my life

Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
This love sets me free

When my life is like a storm
Rising waters all I want is the shore
You say I'll be ok and
Make it through the rain
You are my shelter from the storm

And everything rides on hope now
And everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
This love sets me free

You've become my hearts desire
I will sing Your praises higher
Cause Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free

I'm not my own
I've been carried by You
All my life

Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
This love sets me free

This love sets me free
Your love sets me free
This love sets me free
Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free

Big Event!!

Sorry it has been so long since I have updated. I planned on writing a post before Christmas, and well that didn't happen. Then I was going to write on New Years day about how I hope 2009 is a much better year for the Ryan family and well, that didn't happen either. Then I was going to post some prayer requests for Carter's appointment tomorrow and figured I better do that now since it is almost to late!
New Years was a great reflecting time for me. I was very emotional thinking back on the past year of all we went through and how gracious God was. I never underestimate the miracle that Carter is and what a blessing it was to find his cancer before it was to late. Those two weeks in May went by so fast however it was truly a living nightmare. It was something we never expected and wish no one ever has to go through. However, I am so grateful how quickly everything happened and how fast Carter was NED (no evidence of disease).
The past few weeks have been really hard on me. Carter's appointment in tomorrow, Jan. 19 and I can't even begin to explain how I have felt. I can't wait for it to be over with. I am so nervous and fearful. I just can't bear to think of the what ifs. Even when I think I am doing OK in trusting God and not worrying something so small will sneak in and away my mind goes.
I pray that as time passes these appointments get easier and not harder. I do worry a little about Carter getting an IV and the sedation but that doesn't bother me near as much as the results of the tests. So please pray for us tonight and tomorrow. I will let you know ASAP.
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Now as the title suggests I have news of a big event!! Are you ready to know what it is?

Get your running/walking shoes on and start training for:

1st Annual Carter Ryan Run For Life
May 2, 2009

That's right folks, in the big metropolis of Bolivar we are hosting a run/walk benefiting Relay for Life of Polk County in honor of Carter. May 2, happens to be the one year anniversary of finding out Carter had a tumor. This will be a 5k run/walk, half-marathon and marathon.
I AM SOOOO EXCITED!!!
When I ran my first race in December, I thought it would be so much better to do a race for a cause and not just for "fun" because seriously, its not all that fun. I began thinking of several groups I would like to run for but set my mind on American Cancer Society. I really hope this will be a big event and if you are anywhere close to Bolivar you should try to come. If you are interested let me know by commenting and I will get the info to you. To make it even more exciting, I will be running the half-marathon. Oh I can't believe I just wrote that, that means I have to now that I made the announcement.

I look forward to sharing how the progress in planning this event and my training goes.
Sometimes I have a hard time writing on here because I often wonder if anyone still reads this blog. If you are reading this, then please comment and let me know. You can be anonymous, I'm just curious.

Not Me Monday!

Traci, This is for you!

I haven't posted in a long time and I will catch everyone up to date in a different post but for now its time for not me! Monday. I am a mom, as you already know, and while I like to think I do everything just right, we all mess up from time to time and do things that we would like to deny. Not me! Monday is a place I can share the things that a perfect mom would certainly NOT do and then post them on our blog because NOT admitting to these things is just so freeing and not to mention funny. So feel free to write about the things you didn't do on your blog or tell me about them in the comments. I promise you will feel better when your done.

I did not let Carter play with 2 tooth brushes and running water while sitting on the bathroom sink when I took a shower yesterday. That would not be safe and I would never do anything to put my children in harms way.

I did not cry until I couldn't breath last week more than once because I am worried about Carter's upcoming check-up. I have faith that he will be just fine, so I would not do that, in fact I'm not worried at all! Nope not me, I'm cool as a cucumber.

I did not take a nap at 6:30 p.m. while Mike took the children to church by himself. I would never do that and why would anyone take a nap that late at night?

I did not plan a big event and have still not told all of you about it. I am so excited about this and I would never keep my blog readers in the dark about something this way cool. (I promise more on this event that I am not planning will be coming soon)

I did not run 3.8 miles yesterday because I am lazy and so not a runner. I also did not sign-up for my second race this week and do not have plans already for a 3rd and 4th race!

After I did not run the above mentioned 3.8 miles I did not come home and decide a perfect post run snack would be ice cream. They would be so stupid and defeat the whole purpose for running. I am so glad I didn't do that.

Mike bought me a cookie cake for my birthday and I did not eat half of it in one day. That would be so gross and make me feel sick for the whole next day. (Oh, maybe that's why I didn't go to church last night)

Speaking of birthday, I did not and I never do act like the world should stop on my birthday. That would be selfish and I never do anything selfish.

I did not do this post just for my friend Traci, so she would quit bugging me about it.

Oh wow, well I think that is enough things I did not do and hopefully I will try and post again next week. I do plan on doing a different post soon since I missed Christmas, New Year, have some prayer requests, and possibly something really exciting!!

Mommy and Daddy's first race!!

Seriously people, my mom and dad are crazy! My mommy has been running in the cold for weeks now only to get up and run outside on a cold day! I can't believe my daddy did it too, he is really crazy! I need to take a nap so I will let my mommy tell you all about it. ~Carter

Mike and I ran in our first race ever this morning! I still can't believe we really did it. Back in September my friend Katie and I joked about participating in the YMCA Holiday Run, and today we really did it. Katie and I tied running 3.1 miles in 32:18. I'm not going to the Olympics or anything but I think that's a pretty good time for our first race. And considering we never ran more than 2.5 miles before today! I was pretty sure after 15 minutes I was going to die, but Katie kept telling me I was fine and sure enough I am. I already want to sign up for another one. I want to do a race that benefits kids with cancer, so if anyone knows of one in Missouri let me know. I had my friend Rachel take pictures for me today, they are not great but it is proof. Have a great weekend.

Katie and Me before the race, I was really excited for some stupid reason.

The start

Katie and Me finishing strong!

I almost forgot to tell you all what a great wife I am! Mike was pretty far behind us and when I could see him coming I went and met him and ran with him to the finish line.

So Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

I have so much to be thankful for this year it makes me emotional. I will never be thankful that Carter got cancer, but I will always be thankful for God's grace and all the ways He provided during that rough time. We are so thankful for all of the wonderful doctors that Carter has/had, the way everything was over so quickly, and the many family members and friends that walked with us loving, encouraging, and praying for us. How wonderful that our little boy is with us and didn't have to have chemo and will be able to celebrate many many more Thanksgivings with us. When we look back at the day we were told Carter had a tumor and the days following, we are so amazed at the way God held us in His hands and took care of us. Yes we were emotional, and yes it was hard, but with God we made it and are now stronger because of it.
I am so thankful to all of you who prayed for Carter and us and who helped us through the nightmare. Thank you!
Hope you have a great day full of thanks!

I can't believe I did it!

WOW! I am finally posting. Where have I been? I'm not even sure. Apparently the Ryan's have been very busy. I wanted to post on November 1, that I can't believe 6 months have flown by since our sweet Carter was diagnosed with cancer. 6 months!! Can you believe it? I sometimes think my life stopped on May 1st, so its hard to believe its November, and well now its the middle of November and I haven't posted on anything in a LONG time. (OK sorry for rambling)

I can't believe I did it! What did I do you ask? Well, I cut Carter's hair. Yes, Yes, I know, WHAT hair? I was well aware that the child did not have very much hair, but the stringy fuzz in the back was driving me crazy and last week I couldn't take it any more. Most people can't even tell a difference, but I can and that all that counts! Right? I will probably keep his hair trimmed nice and short until it gets a little thickness to it. I am sure that some day he will not look bald anymore. Maybe by the time he turns 2. Here are some before and after pictures, like I said there is not much of a difference.

If you look close and squint, you will see the long hair on the right side of his precious head!

Whew! Look at all that long fuzz!!

My big brave boy sat there so good and still for his mommy!

I told you he had a lot of extra hair.

So much better! Isn't he handsome?

Pumpkin Patch

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE. Don't ridicule me because I thought the pumpkin patch was expensive. I AM CHEAP!!! We loved it and had a great time, but we don't have a lot of extra money and I like things we can do for free. So please no more anonymous comments about how it was great for the price and how it wasn't that expensive. WE ARE POOR!!!

We went to a pumpkin patch last Saturday and the kids had a great time. I was a little disappointed at first with the price to get in, and I'm still not sure it was worth it, but it is good to get out of the house sometimes no matter the price.

Enjoy some cute pictures of the boys. I LOVE the beautiful fall weather we have been having. I love the falling leaves, cooler weather, fun family time and good fall comfort food (soups and chili).

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Carter is talking!
I can't get over how many words Carter says. This could be a whole other post, but I mean really we know I won't post again anytime soon.

Bye=Bye Bye
Ah Bah=Evan (he usually is yelling his name, its pretty cute)
baw=ball
eat=eat (pretty plainly said, the boy loves to eat)
tank ewe=thank you
peas=please
lmo=Elmo (see picture above in Elmo jacket)
uh oh=Uh Oh
NOO=No (usually when we are trying to get him to do something or at his brother, very loud and clear)
puppee=puppy (he loves to give love to his stuffed animals and they are all called puppee no matter what they really are)
uck=duck
hunk hunk =honk honk/nose
toes=toes

up a=up
eye=eye

As you can tell our boy is a genius!

Sounds for a dog, pig, cow, duck, and just about any other animal sounds like a quack. That is his only animal sound.

It doesn't seem possible that he is big enough to talk to us. He is also getting big enough to throw fits! Fun fun times ahead.

Not Me Monday!

I did not stand at the time clock at work for one minute so I could get another quarter of an hour pay, that would be so ridiculous and I don't have time to do things like that.



I did not work out longer than usual just so I could go to Dairy Queen.



I did not eat a DQ blizzard while watching The Biggest Loser.



I did not check McMama's blog during church yesterday because I had not checked on her since Friday. Seriously, who would do something like that.



I did not laugh at Carter while he pouted because I was holding Evan and not him. Carter is SO jealous.



I did not eat a hamburger and cheesy french fries at Steak N Shake at 10 p.m. That would be so bad for me and I am a healthy girl!



I did not go running yesterday. My ankle has only been better for 2 weeks and running would be stupid and way to soon.



To see more Not Me Monday's visit Mckmama.

Not Me Monday!

Time to share things I have not done this week. To see more Not Me Mondays! go to MckMama's blog.

I did not pull out a LONG gray hair out of my chin. I am way to young to have chin hair.

I did not fall asleep while Carter played in his crib and Evan played in the living room way to late in the afternoon because then I would not have slept well last night. And while I did not sleep Evan did not ask me if he needed to be more quiet.

I did not make chocolate chip cookies at 10 p.m.

I did not feed my 4 year old dinner at 8:45 p.m. then immediately put him to bed, that is way too late for a child to eat and that is irresponsible. No, not me.

I did not almost cry when a friend told me she bought a St. Jude pumpkin at our local store in honor of Carter.

I did not cry and call the allergist that Carter saw bad names the whole rest of the day after meeting that jerk. I am a nice Christian girl and I wouldn't do something like that.

Visit MckMama to read other not so truthful posts or try one of your own.

All Clear!!

Carter has been too busy to update his blog so please forgive him! Yesterday went fairly well all things considered. Our wonderful nurse (the one we always get, she is our favorite) was able to get Carter's IV on the first try. It took a while to get the blood for the allergy test and make sure it was good, but still only one poke. Once he started crying because of the IV he was pretty whiny the rest of the day. My grandma and I didn't have trouble spoiling and babying him. The CT came back clear!!! It is such a relief to hear those words come out of the doctor's mouth. I was nervous yesterday but I never realize how much until I can breath a sigh of relief. The doctor also mentioned that after a year we might go to chest x-rays only so he isn't getting all the radiation from the CT scan, and because (her words) his chance of recurrence is so low. I have heard her say that before but to hear it again was wonderful. I love his doctor because she is so encouraging.
We had a fun day at the zoo today, Carter enjoyed being outside and looking at everything. I had some sort of miraculous healing in my ankle. Its a little tender but I can walk on it just fine with out a brace or anything. After a long day at the zoo it doesn't hurt at all! I am really excited about this. I hate being a gimp.
We will be going home tomorrow. I know Mike misses us, he hates when his family is gone.
Thanks for the prayers.

Allergist

It would be an understatement to say the allergist was a jerk. By the end of the appointment I came to the conclusion that he really is a good allergist but has very little people skills. It would also be an understatement to say I cry easily, and with that being said the allergist made me cry because he was so rude. I m very sensitive when it comes to my children and them having exczema. I have always done everything that doctors tell me and Mike and I try hard to make sure neither of them are itchy. Last week when I took Evan to the dermatologist he said I was doing everything I could and Evan's skin looked good and breakouts are normal for kids with eczema. Well according to our allergist today (apparently he is the best person in the world, his feelings not mine) that guy was wrong. So who do I believe. I have had so many opinions by so many professionals and I'm just frustrated. I have dealt with exczema for more than 4 years and heard a lot of new information today. Not to say the doctor was wrong or crazy and I know everything because I know I don't, but why after 4 years do I hear information contradicting everything I have heard for the last 4 years. Apparently the only thing I am doing right is using All free and clear laundry detergent. I quit using Dove soap about a month ago because I felt like it was drying out the boys' skin. Well Dr. Smarty pants thought that was stupid since its a moisturizer. I have been told by our current pediatrician ( and I really hope she reads this only because I know he would have gotten her all fired up) that I need to use Eucerin cream on them twice a day. I think this lotion has really helped however, Dr. Know-it-all says it can make excezma worse and I should quit using it. He says I need to use plain Vaseline, which I am fine with because it is MUCH cheaper than the other.
This Dr. was just making me feel like everything I have been told is wrong, and that is very frustrating to a parent that wants nothing more than to do what is right for her kiddos.
Dr. Perfect was very disgusted with the blood allergy test results from our Dr. because he says the Lab they use does a different kind of test and its (of course) much better than the lab my Dr. uses. So they are just going to run another blood allergy test and after he explained all of this to me it really did make sense, and I was glad Carter did not have to have the pokey skin test. He was saved from any poking today, and when we go tomorrow to the oncologist they will draw his blood for this test when they put in an IV. That was the best thing that Dr. said all day.
Oh yeah and I almost forgot to tell you about the milk issue. Apparently if a child is truly allergic to cow's milk (OK so is the Dr. trying to call me a liar) he would also be allergic to goat's milk because it is virtually the same. I'm sorry the last time I checked cow's and goat's were two totally different animals. So Dr. Crazy thinks we should switch from our free goat's milk to not free soy milk. Which honestly if it is better for my baby than I don't really care how much it cost but if this is just his educated guess then yes I have a problem with it.
Sorry for the long boring post, but as you can tell this guy frustratd me.
I wasn't too nervous about tomorrow until today so please be praying that everything will go smooth and we won't be surprised by any bad news. Thank you all for your support.

In all things God works for the good.

(2nd post of the day)

Romans 8: 28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Last Tuesday I posted about all of Carter's allergies and that we had to go see an allergist. I got a call that said his appointment was Thursday, October 2, in St. Louis. Great, they got us in so quick. Oh wait, bad, his oncologist appointment is October 10, that means 2 separate trips to St. Louis 2 weeks in a row. Not so good! I would have done it and it would have been OK but not really looking forward to the expense that comes with 2 trips to St. Louis. So I called the allergist to reschedule and we were looking at March, umm no thank you. So then I called the oncologist hoping they could move his appointment up, but I was very doubtful. Well they called the next day and lo and behold they moved his appointment to Friday October 3!! Yeah! I love it when things work out like that. So we will be going to St. Louis on Wednesday and Carter will see the allergist on Thursday and have a CT on Friday.

I am dreading the allergist appointment because at this time I am still going alone. My grandma told me she is going to win. So I will need lots of prayers that Carter won't hate me when this is all said and done.

If you read my Not Me! Monday post, you would know I am on crutches. I had been exercising with one of my friends and one day (don't ask me why) we decided to start running. So we had done it about 10 times and one day my ankles were hurting while we ran. When we stopped I could barely walk. I just thought my muscles were not used to the running so I took it easy for a few days. Well a few days turned into a week and a half. I was not getting any better and in fact I was getting worse. So I finally went to the doctor to find out I have a stress fracture and need to stay off of it. Umm hello!! I have 2 kids, I can't stay off of it. I have been doing the best i can, OK well not really, but fairly well. However, there is no way to use crutches in St. Louis this weekend. I am hoping for a quick miraculous healing.


I haven't posted a picture in a while so thought I would. This is from when my grandma came to visit on Labor day weekend. Not a good one of Evan but cute of Carter. Of course he has something in his mouth, always does!

Not Me! Monday

Another not me post. Last week I felt so free after posting all the things I had not done. Well here are more things I did not do this week.

I did not make another sweet and very fattening dessert this week and again eat to much of it after all I am still trying to eat healthy.

I did not eat above mentioned dessert (Hershey bar pie) while watching Biggest Loser, that would just be wrong.

I did not wait 10 days to go to the doctor for a hurt ankle to find out its a stress fracture. Why would I wait so long in that much pain.

I did not throw the crutches to the side as soon as I got home with them.

I did not pinch my husband so hard on the arm that he cried and gave him a huge bruise. That would be so mean and I would never do anything like that. (I am still very sorry honey!)

I did not take Carter to daycare without crutches and then get to work and use the crutches.

I did not walk around on my sore ankle without the crutches ALL day Saturday at a fall festival and then in Springfield.

I did not overeat at a pizza buffet on Saturday. I did not eat dessert twice!

I did not buy Carter a pair of shoes a size too small because I am not an idiot and I know what size shoes he wears.

I did not give Carter a decongestant yesterday because he can't have it all this week due to allergy testing on Thursday. I did not tell Mike not to give it to him and then give it to him myself. (I felt sorry for the poor stuffy boy who was gaging on the junk in his throat)

I did not find out one of my friends who has been trying for a long time is pregnant. (Shh.. its still a secret) I also did not call her back several hours later just to tell her I was so excited and I couldn't quit thinking about her, that would be weird.

I did not eat a whole pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream by myself. Actually I didn't really eat it all and I did not pick out all the cookie dough chunks.

Be sure to check out MckMama's site for more Not Me! Monday.

Leave me a comment and tell me things you did not do this week. If you participate in Not Me! Monday on your own blog let me know as well as MckMama.

You have got to be kidding!!

A few weeks ago I took Carter to the doctor for his 15 month check up and they did blood allergy testing. Well, they called today to give me the results and my first thought was "Are you kidding me?" We already knew he was allergic to Cow's milk, but the rest I had no clue. So are you ready. The boy is allergic to milk, egg, peanut, cat, 4 types of grass and 3 types of trees. So do I need to just put him in a bubble?? Needless to say they are going to send us to a pediatric allergist probably in the same hospital we already go to every 3 months for his cancer. I was totally blown away by all these allergies, no wonder he is always snotty and broke out.

More uplifting note: On Sunday Carter got a hold of something he knew he wasn't supposed to have and kindly brought it to me and said "Uh Oh I did it." Poor kid totally told on himself. It was hilarious and of course I cracked up.
The other day Evan told me he knew what hotel started with so of course I was thinking he was going to say H but when I asked him what he pointed to the number 8 and said eight. A little confused I remembered when we went on vacation ( yes, I know I still haven't posted about it) we stayed at a Super 8 on the way there and on the way back, and we pass by a Super 8 every time we take him to school. Smart little stinker he is, how do you correct something that cute?
That's all I have for today. I'll let you all know when the allergy testing is because I know it will be torture for all involved and I will need prayer. My grandma already told me she wasn't going with me to that appointment and I quickly told her she would DEFINITELY be going, we will see who wins.

Not Me! Monday

MckMama started a new blog carnival that is sure to be entertaining. These are things I certainly have NOT done this week. You can see more Not Me! Monday's here.


I did not tell my 4 year old I would get him some milk in just a minute and then fall back asleep yesterday while he did whatever he wanted. That would be irresponsible and I would never do that.

I did not take same 4 year old to church last night with a 101 fever and let him spread his germs to everyone. No way! ( I really didn't know he had a fever until we got home)

I never let Evan go into Carter's crib just so I can have a few more minutes doing whatever it is I am doing before I get Carter out of bed.

I did not freak out and think Evan had a tumor in his leg because he suddenly said it hurt and started limping. That would be completely stupid and I would never be that irrational. And I am not taking him to the doctor partially for above said reason today.

I did not make No Bake cookies over the weekend and eat a TON of them because I am trying to eat healthy and I would not do that.

Try Not Me Monday it is so freeing!! Check back on following Mondays to see what I have not done the previous week.

First day of Preschool

Evan started preschool Friday, Aug. 22. (Yes, I know that was 3 weeks ago.) I can't believe he is old enough to go to school but apparently he is. He goes every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at the local Christian school. He had a great first day and I only cried once. Actually I didn't even cry when I dropped him off but in the middle of the day. The school called me twice because he was "itchy". He has eczema and he happened to be very broke out Friday morning. Well I forgot to tell school that he had eczema so they weren't sure if it was an allergic reaction or a rash. The first time I explained to them what it was and the second time they told me he was so miserable and asked if there was anything I could bring him. So I left work to take him the medicine that helps and some lotion. On the way there I had a mini-emotional break down because I felt so sorry for my little 4 year old boy that can't even enjoy the first day of preschool due to being itchy when the doctors tell me I am doing all that I can to help him. Well no, if he is still miserable than I am not doing all I can! There must be more. So we are going to the dermatologist on Sept. 24 and I pray they can give us some kind of new light.
So you may be wondering where the pictures of him on the first day are and well the truth is I forgot! I know, I am a horrible mom. On the second day of school he would not let me take his picture. I wish I would have been smart enough to take a picture of him pouting, that would have been memorable and hilarious.
More later, I promise a vacation post is coming soon.

Long time no post (AGAIN)

WOW! Where does time go?? I really planned on writing more often and now it been a week and a half.
Can you believe it has been 4 months since Carter was diagnosed with NB?!? Looking back it seems like it was forever ago. I still can't believe how fast everything happened. I still often look back and think "I really thought he was teething". I guess it just seems so surreal. Almost like 4 months ago I had a really bad dream and something like that surely didn't shake US, it must have been someone else and I just tell the story. I will admit I am still a little anxious about the whole "C" word. I just can't help to think about it. My family thinks I am silly and Mike is good at ignoring the fact the Carter has cancer, but I just can't shake it. I will be worried until he sees the oncologist in October then she will ease all my fear and stress how well he is doing and I will feel better at least for a while.
FYI I have 2 posts that I am working on. One about Evan starting pre-school and one about vacation, so I really will get those out soon. Hopefully this week. I have just been so busy and our Internet connection at home isn't the best so its hard to find a place and a time to write. I really appreciate your comments and prayers for our family.
Please pray for the Mikulak family. I found Max's story sometime in May and although I try to avoid blog's about kids with NB I couldn't help myself to continue to follow his story. I knew Max was very ill and his parents knew he was dying, but it came as a shock to find out Max died on Sunday. I hope I never find myself in that situation. Please pray for them as I know they need it.

New Twist

Want to know a secret about me? I love blogging. I love to write, and I love to read others blogs. I know the loving to write part doesn't show but I really do. The problem I have with writing is that since this blog was created because of Carter's cancer I feel that the posts should always have to do with Carter. However, I decided to try a new twist. Even though this blog is called Carter Jay Ryan I want to start posting about life and the true randomness that occurs in it. This will more be like a Ryan family bog but keep the same name, and of course as things with Carter happen they will be posted here. I pray Carter's cancer does not come back but in case it does we will already have a blog set up to keep family and friends posted. I had another blog that was started before Carter was diagnosed, but I don't want to switch to it because I think I will lose readers. So if you object to me making this a more family oriented blog than you can comment, but I think you will just be glad to hear from me more often. Blogging is a whole new world so look forward to some fun things. Happy Monday!