Good news!!

As the title says we got good news at Carter's appointment yesterday, however we need your prayers. His scan was clear for any signs of a tumor. YEAH!!!! Praise the Lord. I debated on posting the next part or not but I feel we really need every ones prayers. When the doctor came into to tell us the results of the scan she also did an exam on Carter, just normal stuff. He was sitting on my lap and when she got to the lymph nodes under his left arm she asked me to lay him on the exam table. Then she kept feeling around under that arm, after what felt like an eternity I told her she was scaring me and asked what she was doing. She explained that she felt a bump, but it wasn't what a normal swollen lymph node or tumor would feel like and she thought it was just his muscle but she wanted to make sure, that's why she kept pressing around on it. Then she said we could do an ultrasound to make sure it was nothing. At that point I just wanted to fall down on the floor and start screaming. I just kept thinking "I knew it, I just knew it was going to come back." (I know, I know, I am such an optimistic positive person, ha ha NOT) Then she said "Oh wait, I know the CT scan when up to his neck so I will just go back and look at the scan and talk to the radiologist." So after a few minutes she comes back to tell us it was nothing, there was nothing on the scan and the radiologist didn't see anything abnormal either. I did feel a little relieved, but still very scared. In the back of my mind I keep thinking it is nothing now, but it might be next time. So, that's why I posted that part so all of you can pray. Please pray for my peace of mind, I just do not feel as relieved as I normally do after these appointments. Also pray for Carter that it really is nothing and we don't find something at his next appointment. He will go back in 3 months, so April and we will do another scan. I really hope I am not a basket case for the next 3 months.
This appointment was thus far the hardest one for me mentally, I'm not sure why but I have just been a mess and maybe that's why I'm having a hard time bouncing back from it.
I did want to let every one know that the test itself went REALLY smooth yesterday. Carter barely cried when they did the IV, it only took one try, he went to the bathroom fairly quickly for the urine test, we didn't have to wait for a long time like usual, and he only whimpered a second during the scan because it startled him when the table started moving :) That in itself is a huge praise. It was by far our best appointment up until the doctor came in.
Thank you all for your prayers.

The following is a song that has become our theme song. The words really speak to me and just remind me that everything we have gone through is going to be OK no matter how it turns out because we have hope and faith in Jesus.

Hope Now by Addison Road

If everything comes down to love
Then just what am I afraid of
When I call out Your name
Something inside awakes in my soul
How quickly I forget I'm Yours

I'm not my own
I've been carried by You
All my life

Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
This love sets me free

When my life is like a storm
Rising waters all I want is the shore
You say I'll be ok and
Make it through the rain
You are my shelter from the storm

And everything rides on hope now
And everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
This love sets me free

You've become my hearts desire
I will sing Your praises higher
Cause Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free

I'm not my own
I've been carried by You
All my life

Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
This love sets me free

This love sets me free
Your love sets me free
This love sets me free
Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free

Big Event!!

Sorry it has been so long since I have updated. I planned on writing a post before Christmas, and well that didn't happen. Then I was going to write on New Years day about how I hope 2009 is a much better year for the Ryan family and well, that didn't happen either. Then I was going to post some prayer requests for Carter's appointment tomorrow and figured I better do that now since it is almost to late!
New Years was a great reflecting time for me. I was very emotional thinking back on the past year of all we went through and how gracious God was. I never underestimate the miracle that Carter is and what a blessing it was to find his cancer before it was to late. Those two weeks in May went by so fast however it was truly a living nightmare. It was something we never expected and wish no one ever has to go through. However, I am so grateful how quickly everything happened and how fast Carter was NED (no evidence of disease).
The past few weeks have been really hard on me. Carter's appointment in tomorrow, Jan. 19 and I can't even begin to explain how I have felt. I can't wait for it to be over with. I am so nervous and fearful. I just can't bear to think of the what ifs. Even when I think I am doing OK in trusting God and not worrying something so small will sneak in and away my mind goes.
I pray that as time passes these appointments get easier and not harder. I do worry a little about Carter getting an IV and the sedation but that doesn't bother me near as much as the results of the tests. So please pray for us tonight and tomorrow. I will let you know ASAP.
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Now as the title suggests I have news of a big event!! Are you ready to know what it is?

Get your running/walking shoes on and start training for:

1st Annual Carter Ryan Run For Life
May 2, 2009

That's right folks, in the big metropolis of Bolivar we are hosting a run/walk benefiting Relay for Life of Polk County in honor of Carter. May 2, happens to be the one year anniversary of finding out Carter had a tumor. This will be a 5k run/walk, half-marathon and marathon.
I AM SOOOO EXCITED!!!
When I ran my first race in December, I thought it would be so much better to do a race for a cause and not just for "fun" because seriously, its not all that fun. I began thinking of several groups I would like to run for but set my mind on American Cancer Society. I really hope this will be a big event and if you are anywhere close to Bolivar you should try to come. If you are interested let me know by commenting and I will get the info to you. To make it even more exciting, I will be running the half-marathon. Oh I can't believe I just wrote that, that means I have to now that I made the announcement.

I look forward to sharing how the progress in planning this event and my training goes.
Sometimes I have a hard time writing on here because I often wonder if anyone still reads this blog. If you are reading this, then please comment and let me know. You can be anonymous, I'm just curious.

Not Me Monday!

Traci, This is for you!

I haven't posted in a long time and I will catch everyone up to date in a different post but for now its time for not me! Monday. I am a mom, as you already know, and while I like to think I do everything just right, we all mess up from time to time and do things that we would like to deny. Not me! Monday is a place I can share the things that a perfect mom would certainly NOT do and then post them on our blog because NOT admitting to these things is just so freeing and not to mention funny. So feel free to write about the things you didn't do on your blog or tell me about them in the comments. I promise you will feel better when your done.

I did not let Carter play with 2 tooth brushes and running water while sitting on the bathroom sink when I took a shower yesterday. That would not be safe and I would never do anything to put my children in harms way.

I did not cry until I couldn't breath last week more than once because I am worried about Carter's upcoming check-up. I have faith that he will be just fine, so I would not do that, in fact I'm not worried at all! Nope not me, I'm cool as a cucumber.

I did not take a nap at 6:30 p.m. while Mike took the children to church by himself. I would never do that and why would anyone take a nap that late at night?

I did not plan a big event and have still not told all of you about it. I am so excited about this and I would never keep my blog readers in the dark about something this way cool. (I promise more on this event that I am not planning will be coming soon)

I did not run 3.8 miles yesterday because I am lazy and so not a runner. I also did not sign-up for my second race this week and do not have plans already for a 3rd and 4th race!

After I did not run the above mentioned 3.8 miles I did not come home and decide a perfect post run snack would be ice cream. They would be so stupid and defeat the whole purpose for running. I am so glad I didn't do that.

Mike bought me a cookie cake for my birthday and I did not eat half of it in one day. That would be so gross and make me feel sick for the whole next day. (Oh, maybe that's why I didn't go to church last night)

Speaking of birthday, I did not and I never do act like the world should stop on my birthday. That would be selfish and I never do anything selfish.

I did not do this post just for my friend Traci, so she would quit bugging me about it.

Oh wow, well I think that is enough things I did not do and hopefully I will try and post again next week. I do plan on doing a different post soon since I missed Christmas, New Year, have some prayer requests, and possibly something really exciting!!